Earth is a Full House.

next up: a comprehensive essay on 'Full House' being a metaphor for U.S. foreign policy in the early 90's, and how it affects you, each and every episode:

Danny Tanner = the United States of America. he's a fun-lovin', smiley, cheesy single dad, who doesn't mind being kind of serious when someone steps out of line. then a hug fixes everything.

Uncle Jesse = the United Kingdom. he's cool, collected, and loves music and bad hair. also, he teams up with Danny Tanner, and they have each other's backs.

Uncle Joey = Canada. he likes hockey. his jokes suck. how could Uncle Joey not be Canada?

DJ Tanner = Mexico. somewhat exotic(?) and dependant on Danny Tanner for support. who am i kidding, i got nothing on this one.

Stephanie Tanner = France. she is mildly rude and offensive to everyone else, and i suspect everyone just pretends to love her. hey, just like France!

Little Michelle Tanner = China. she may be small, but when she grows up, she will be a major power and own everyone in the world.

it all makes sense. trust me.
and now you all know what i contemplate when i'm at work....